Snap back to reality. Shit. I'm in trouble. I barely have a day here in Gensan and tommorow... I'll be flying off to Manila once again. Everything was sooo fast! putek. I'm a real testimony in today's fast-paced life. To be honest, I'm really getting tired and sick of it. I mean, I wanna go back to my early childhood years when I get to spend the Holidays without anything in mind. No assignments, projects, and extracurricular echus... no anything. All you've got to do is to mind what gifts you'll be getting for christmas. In my early childhood days in Gensan, I still have time as big as watermelons to climb in the tree and gaze in the sky. Everything was plain and simple. That was the case before. Unlike now that I find myself faced with very serious things. I mean, I've got a lot of worries and loads of crap with me. Or is it just the result of the mentality of maturity? Come to think of it, when one grows old, one tends to believe that he/she is responsible for bigger responsibilities (redundant); but isn't it that even a child is responsible for the same degree of responsibility. HELLO? who dictates the degree of responsibility and all that crap? is it the society or is it the mentality? I believe the obvious answer is both! IT IS THE SOCIETY THAT INJECTS THE MENTALITY OF RESPONSIBILITY. As if it is a hegemonic ideology that was secretly placed in the course of human development. I may not be a reliable scholar, but I believe what I'm saying is true.

Consequently, I find myself indulged with this hegemonic ideology that I can't seem to find a remedy. Temporarily, I try to settle things on my own (my own responsibilities, bla bla bla) And so, these are the things that f*cks my life:

The biggest thing I fear the most is my pursuit of THE GREAT MEDICAL DREAM
I know I want it. I know I am born for it. But the thing is, if my studies get crappy, I may find myself of not pursuing my great dream. I have a future in mind that requires a great deal of persistence and perseverance. Not only that, it must be coupled with hereditary intelligence, consistent excellence, surprisingly huge amount of luck, and of course, the big love for connections with people and then poof! POLITICS. I guess this is the reason why I am too worried of things nowadays. But, what the hell am I suppose to do with it? I'll face the crap and get on my way...